We’re revealing the roles and responsibilities of your mom and mother-in-law for your wedding, from your rehearsal dinner to your bridal shower!
When it comes to the wedding responsibilities of your moms, it’s important that responsibilities are shared and guidelines are set. Read on for our fabulous tips for establishing your moms’ wedding duties.
FOR THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE
Your mom has some big roles and responsibilities for your wedding day! Make sure you’ve set guidelines with her in advance.
There are so many ways to involve your mom in your wedding day. Even the little things count, like bustling your dress.
Mom’s involvement in your wedding is sometimes indicated by how much money she and your father are putting into it. If they’re paying for it, then her involvement will be greater than if she’s only making a small contribution.
Your mom is usually the go-to contact for your creative partners, including your florist, baker and entertainer. Set your mom up for success with a list of creative contacts and a message book solely for your wedding day.
Your mom can be the go-to person for religious expertise or the source of the Something Borrowed or Something Old you’ll wear for good luck down the aisle.
Emily Scannell Photography
From helping you pick out your gown to suggesting family traditions, Mom is a go-to source of advice and information.
Whether it is the engagement dinner or bridal shower, mom is not expected to host. If she does want to host them, then she trumps the rest who may want to step up to the task. Who knows, you might decide to have several showers!
Etiquette recommends that your mother follows your lead as to the color and formality of the dress she picks. The bride’s mom buys her gown before the mother of the groom, and, once chosen, calls the groom’s mother to describe her dress.
Once you and your new husband grace the dance floor for your First Dance, etiquette suggests that the next couple to follow you out there is your mom and dad.
FOR THE MOTHER OF THE GROOM
It’s best for the mothers of the bride and groom to share responsibilities when it comes to planning the wedding.
Once you’re engaged, it’s usually the role of the groom’s parents to call the bride’s parents first. In this conversation, both sets of parents arrange a dinner to celebrate the couple, get to know each other and talk about the wedding plans.
Unless the groom’s parents are contributing heavily to the overall budget, the mother of the groom usually follows the lead on how many guests to invite based on the bride’s parents. It’s also her duty to follow up with any of her invitees who haven’t RSVP’d by the deadline.
Authority on Tradition
If your groom wants to add touches of his heritage to your ceremony, the mother of the groom is the best source to turn to for ideas.
Traditionally, the groom’s mom and dad host this event on the eve of the wedding. Since this party isn’t bound by many other customs, the groom’s family’s personalities can shine through in the choice of venue, food and entertainment. This is also filled with all the toasts and speeches since the night of the wedding is usually reserved for the best man, father of the bride and groom.