Why Your Boyfriend Isn’t Proposing

Why has your boyfriend not proposed to you?

Like you, your boyfriend has seen all of the creative and inventive wedding proposals that appear on television, online and in other media. From the many Valentine’s Day Proposalsto proposals staged with flash mobs, to proposals staged with cute French bulldogsand even an imaginative wedding proposal using a sand castle, the range of imaginative wedding proposals seems unlimited.

Despite all of this wedding proposal inspiration, he has not proposed to you. Here are some possible reasons why, from Brides:

Even if they don’t seem super involved in the wedding-planning process, grooms are going through the same life-changing experience as their brides-to-be. Enter: Our friends over at The Plunge. The site is dedicated to helping the engaged guy navigate his wedding from a man’s point of view. Here, the site’s editors are giving our female audience a peek inside the mindset of a dude’s brain on weddings.

So you’ve been in a relationship for years, but it’s everyone else who’s posting pics of their newly-accessorized ring fingers on Facebook — your boss, your best friend, that exchange student from high school, the cleaning lady. So when is it going to be your turn already? Relax. Your time is coming, probably sooner than you think. Here are a few plausible reasons why your man hasn’t popped the question yet.

He’s trying to save up money
Believe it or not, there are still some guys out there who haven’t signed up for The Plunge and therefore don’t realize how much of their salary they have to save for a diamond ring. Then again, even if he manages to save on the ring, he’s got to pay for a skywriter, a stealth photographer, a film crew, a couple of stunt doubles, and whatever else he needs to make your proposal famous on YouTube — which means he might just be taking some time to save.

He’s lazy
Of course you’d never go for this type of guy, we’re just saying it’s a possibility. As long as there’s no threat of immediate danger, men are generally happy to put off doing whatever it is we should be doing. Take out the trash now? But the entire house won’t smell rotten until tomorrow! Relax. Your man definitely wants to propose, but he probably needs a little push to get off his butt and onto his knee. Otherwise you’re at the mercy of Mr. I’ll Totally Get Around To It After The Game.

He’s cracking under the pressure
Asking the future in-laws. Keeping the secret. Getting the timing right. And “Oh god she’s showing me another Pinterest proposal“! All this and more could be frying your man’s brain as we speak.

He’s not
Unlike lazy guy who has no excuse — he’s simply a sloth — your man may be well intentioned and not even realize he’s putting it off. From your perspective, you’ve spent the last four years giving away the milk for free. In his mind, you guys are together, in love, on the same page, and everything is peachy — why mess with a good thing? If you asked him if he wants to propose or sees himself getting married, he’d absolutely say yes. Problem is, actually making that a reality requires major decisions and big changes, which are both way scarier than an awesome relationship that’s working perfectly.

So what can you do?
Remember, if you both know that the other is “the one,” then this guy wants to be with you. It’s going to happen. Keep dropping those hints and have those grownup conversations about what you both want for your future. (“Think of the tax break!”) Ease the pressure whenever possible. When all else fails, you’re already reading Brides — keep sending him links until he cracks. Then send him one more to theplunge.com. We’ll keep him on track from there.

Catch up on more of The Plunge‘s posts here!