Originally, bridal showers were arranged to present gifts to the bride-to-be to help provide a dowry for her if her family was unable to do so, or just to give her a good start with household items since housekeeping was the main role of the wife in those times.

Over the decades the purpose of bridal showers has evolved, as the role of women and wives has evolved.  Today, bridal showers have morphed again into a rather festive way for the bride’s female family and friends to grab some girl time before the Big Day, often embracing  specific themesfrom lingerie parties to cooking classes together, or a sophisticated high tea, a swanky champagne brunch, or a casual and hilarious afternoon get-together.

As to bridal shower etiquette, certainly there are bridal shower faux pas to avoidbut what about the idea of the co-ed shower for the bride and groom?

Here are some great tips and ideas for throwing a DIY co-ed wedding shower, from Wedding Party:

To shower or not to shower…shower that is.  Regular showering is a must ;).

When Jay and I were considering the idea, it was foreign to him given his Indian background, and my only examples of wedding showers had been the traditional ladies-only soirees.

But!  We are non-traditional and share the same friend groups so we decided to pull off a co-ed wedding shower because we love our peoples (and we needed house goods!).

Co-Ed Wedding Shower

House goods awesomeness: Our specially designed His-or-Hers apron!

Jay has never lived on his own, being a doting son, and I have been poor enough to need room mates at all times.  Thus, adult living with toaster ovens and mandolins and coasters seemed like a fabulous unreachable dream due to our tight wedding budget. And speaking of empty wallets, we had to figure out how to throw a big ol’ party somehow.

First, I enlisted my maids of honor, the dynamic duo of my best friend and my sister, to spearhead the planning process.  We decided on a backyard BBQ and opened the website daily to see if we could succeed over Chicago’s drastically changing climate.  Then, I roped in my mom because of her superb decor and party skills and my dad, the jack of grill trades.

Results? Fabulous! Here’s what I loved and what I learned about the daunting wedding shower process.



We used Evite to send out invitations thus saving money on stamps and more paper goods that people tend to throw away after perusing.  There are other swank free invite sites like Paperless Post orPunchbowl that you can utilize as well.  In retrospect, I would have used Paperless Post.  They had more wedding options and the invites are soooo cute.  See?!

Co-Ed Wedding Shower

Wedding shower invite from Paperless Post


My sister and bestest took charge of the process which was a huge weight off my mind.  They decorated, hosted the event and even ran fun games like the Newlywed Game.

Co-Ed Wedding Shower

Our guests contributed hilarious and sweet date ideas


We spent a decent amount of time gathering groceries, cooking and cleaning.  The cooking part was fun but I would have had more time to relax with my family and friends if I had let a business do it for me.  I would definitely recommend ordering your food to relieve some pressure.


You don’t have to buy pricey items to make your event look gorgeous.  First, ask around.  Most of your friends and family will have something you can borrow that can up your decor quotient.  My mom, sister, best friend,myself, even room mate loaned mismatched vases, mason jars, tables, chairs, serving silverware and table cloths.


I left this for last because I am soooo lucky to have such crafty and creative friends.  If I was planning my shower, the logistics would be on point but the decor would be lackluster…just not my strong suit.  My MOHs not only decorated the space but also made paper flowers, sheet music table runners, hand painted bride and groom signs and on and on!!

Co-Ed Wedding Shower

Finally, I learned I needed a Day Of Decorator/Coordinator to ensure my friends and family and myself can relax and enjoy the day!  I can never express how grateful I am to everyone for all their toil and trouble to make our shower a success!


bout Kate: Kate is a recently engaged gal living in Chicago. Her fiancé, Raja, is her blogging coach, fellow Netflixia sufferer (Walking Dead!) and adventure twin. Tune in every other week to hear about her personal wedding planning experienc